I am always intrigued by how the human mind can change moods from one instance to the next. Take tonight for example. I am doing great, getting some homework done, playing some music, and having a great time. Then a certain topic came up and I could physically feel my mind starting to fog up. I could no longer concentrate and my heart began to beat faster, my temperature rose slightly, and I started to become discouraged, all in a matter of seconds.
I don't know what God has in store and, although often that actually brings me great joy, tonight it brought with it doubt and fear. My heart and mind is confused about what God is trying to teach me and what His will is for me right now. I believe that I am following His will, but how do I know? How can I separate the real, mental prodding of God from my heart screaming in my brain what it so desperately wants? I have come to realize that I don't know.
But yet I am here standing, waiting, hoping, seeking, praying, asking "God, what do I do now?" All that is left now is to trust. At times I don't know how I am able to, but I know that it is absolutely imperative that I do. "God, I put my trust in You every moment of every day. I have faith that Your will is greater than mine and Your plans are not yet finished in my life. Help me to cling to You with every ounce of strength I have until I have breathed my last breath. You alone provide the peace that I so desperately need."
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